NEWS REEL 2011: FEBRUARY
BLOATEN AIR FORCE LAUNCHES SUCCESSFUL ATTACK ON KEY FATMOUSE STRONGHOLDS. MOUSE CASUALTIES THOUGHT TO BE IN HIGH TENS.
AS A RESULT OF ONE-HUNDRED PER CENT APPROVAL RATINGS, BLOATENKATS JOYFUL UNION OF NATIONS WELCOMES NEW MEMBER STATES TO THE FAMILY.
INCREASING YOUR MASS IS INCREASING THE MASS OF THE EMPIRE.
SATELLITE FOOTAGE AVAILABLE FOR PUBLIC VIEWING HERE.
A PARADE TO CELEBRATE THE BARONS TRIUMPHS IN THE WORLD THEATRE WILL BE HELD AT THE END OF MARCH.
NEWS REEL 2011: JANUARY
RECENT INFORMATION ABOUT THE DEMISE OF THE BARON IS PROVEN TODAY TO BE THE DIRTY LIES OF THE FATMOUSE REBELLION.
BARON VON BLOATENKAT IS TO ATTEND A MEETING WITH PREMIER BALACK O` BAMA OF THE UMERICAN STATES OF THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT.
WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS ARE EXPECTED TO PROVIDE AMPLE BEDDING.
AND SO IT IS THE AWAKENING FROM SLUMBER
THE BARON HAS RETURNED VICTORIOUS FROM FAR REACHES OF KOREA
LET ALL WHO STAND FOR THE FATMOUSE KNOW THIS NEWS AND LEARN OF IT SWIFTLY
FOR THEY WILL HAVE FEW TIME TO REFORM THEIR GREATLY UNSWOLLEN RANKS
BARON VON BLOATENKAT CALLS UPON ALL THOSE WORTHY ENOUGH TO JOIN HIS GLORIOUS SWELL
SEND A SELF ADDRESSED ENVELOPE TO BARON VON BLOATENKAT RECRUITMENT SECTOR K9
BARON VON BLOATENKAT WILL LIVE FOREVER. FUTILE EFFORTS OF THE FATMOUSE REGEIME SHALL NEVER PENETRATE THE VAST BOWELS OF THE SECRET BLOATEN SOCIETY THAT SURROUNDS THE BARON AT ALL TIMES
THE BARON SUPPORTS HIS TROOPS INJURED IN THE LINE OF OBESE DUTY AGAINST THE EVIL TYRANT FATMOUSE AND HIS REBEL ALLEIGANTS.
BLOATENKAT APPROVES OF THE HOSPITAL FOOD PROVISIONS AND FRESH NEWSPAPER ALLOCATED TO EACH CONSCRIPT.
THE BARON MAKES QUICK PROGRESS TO HIS NEXT SUPPORT RALLY.
FOR A LIST OF BLOATEN RALLIES NEAR YOU AND INFORMATION ON HOW TO SUPPORT YOUR GLORIOUS BLOATED LEADER PLEASE CONTACT THE OVERBLOAT INFORMATION OFFICE BETWEEN THE HOURS OF SIXTEEN AND ELEVEN.